some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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