I have demons in me.
I love having hate sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
