I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
