Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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