He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
