end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He felt like a one man threesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
