super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
