...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
