You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
