We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
