he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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