Buhtt sex?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Randomize
