Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This baby is an asshole
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
