I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
