no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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