STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize