I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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