so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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