i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize