We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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