Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
