Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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