Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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