i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
