I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
