You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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