vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
