Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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