i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Let's get the cat blown out
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
