Did you just see the Batmobile???
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
