I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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