Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
