You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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