I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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