dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
