The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize