He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
