If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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