Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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