I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
