? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
