She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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