Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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