just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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