i need an iv and a liver transplant
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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