fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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