My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
