matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
