Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
