I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
handjob tips. give me some.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
