I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
