shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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