I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sext me about skeletons
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
