Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
