I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
