he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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