you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
