you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize